Monday, February 6, 2012

Mom Minute--Dealing With Hurt Feelings

As a mother of eight children, it still never ceases to amaze me that my children are so different. You know, since they have the same parents and all. But they are very different and that makes me stretch as a person in order to try and meet their individual needs and help them grow as people.

Yesterday we had an incident in which angry words were exchanged and one of my children's feelings were really hurt. For me, when I have hurt feelings, I usually like to talk things out. You know, get it all on the table, air the feelings, then kiss and make up. This certain child withdraws. They don't talk to anyone and try to avoid the situation, which drives me a little crazy.

So, today I am waiting. Waiting for the right moment to see if this can't be worked out and talked out.

But, for those of you who know me, waiting isn't my strong suit. Probably because when I wait for things, my imagination kicks into overdrive and I imagine different scenarios, (okay, worst case scenarios) and then things get crazy in my head. So, I'm really hoping that the timing will be right and this brouhaha can be smoothed over today. And it truly is all about timing with children, don't you think?

I am definitely crossing my fingers that perhaps being at school today, and a bit of time away from each other, will give the time and distance needed for this particular situation. I think it will.

How do you deal with your children when there's something that needs to be talked out, but they would rather withdraw?


Debra Erfert said...

I was one of those children who withdrew. I had a lot to withdraw from back then. I stayed to myself. Neither of my sons were like me, fortunately. When they argued, I let them work it out at the time it happened. Now, I only had two kids, which is a long way from eight, so the dynamics are very different. But, it would've been nice to have my mom come into my room and talk to me when my feelings had been hurt--back then. Don't wait too long, Julie. Time goes by so quickly.

Sarah Pearson said...

I give them a day or two, but if it's still on their mind (and I can usually tell) I get them on their own and give them a cuddle. Then I ask if they want to talk. Usually works. Eventually.

Julie Coulter Bellon said...

Debra, you're such a good mom. I love having the "talks" in my kids' rooms. I know those are going to be some of my fondest memories because we bonded so much.

Sarah, that's exactly what happened last night. Everyone made up and it's all good, but the cuddle was worth the effort in the end I think. :)