The spot where
Jonah’s foot should have been¾ had been until a year ago¾ was hurting again. The
phantom pains from the amputation came mostly in the evenings now, which always
made it hard to sleep. Jonah sat in the darkness of the family room, enjoying
its black comfort, how it hid the display of track and field medals and
trophies he’d won in high school. With the snowstorm that had been threatening
all day finally unleashing itself, it was as if Mother Nature was commiserating
with him. The howling wind outside perfectly matched his mood.
Good thing his
parents weren’t home to see this. His mother would frown and turn the lights on
and offer to watch TV with him. Or she’d bustle around, getting him something
to eat or wanting to know how he was feeling. That was the most dreaded
question of all. He didn’t know how he was feeling, but he did know he needed
some peace and quiet.
Since coming home
from rehab three days ago, this was the first evening he’d been alone. His
friends and neighbors meant well, but there had been a steady stream of
visitors to the house, coming to tell him how sorry they were for his
“accident.” As if losing his foot to a roadside bomb in Afghanistan was
equivalent to a fender bender or something. But it was the pity in their eyes
that bothered him the most. He didn’t want anyone to pity him.
He leaned back in
his father’s recliner. His mother had instilled manners in him, so he’d smiled
at everyone who came and tried to make it okay for them, but he’d never felt
more alone. No one would ever understand what it was like to try to buy one
shoe or have to put your pants on sitting down.
He flexed his good
leg, careful not to hit the dog sleeping at his feet. Or really, just his foot.
Jonah grimaced. Would he ever get used to only having one foot? Even after a
year of rehab it didn’t feel natural. Maybe it never would. His thoughts turned
to the wine in the fridge. It would be so easy to numb himself, but going down
that road never led anywhere good. He’d tried. It was time to get up and turn
the lights on. Stop feeling sorry for himself and read a book or grab a movie
to watch. Anything except more sitting in the dark.
Bending down to
get his prosthetic foot, he pulled up the pant leg on his sweatpants, put the
liner and sock over his stump, then strapped the prosthetic foot on and
ratcheted it tight. “Wake up, Magnus.” The golden retriever didn’t even move.
Jonah poked him gently in the side. “Hey.”
Magnus’s ears
perked up, and he turned his face toward the door as if someone were there.
“Just the wind, boy,” Jonah assured him. “It’s getting bad out there.” But then
he heard it, too. Something or someone was scratching at the back door.
Glad now that the
lights were off, Jonah stood. If someone thought they could break into his
house, they could think again. His military training kicked in, and he crept to
the window. With the barest movement of the blinds, Jonah squinted to see the
back porch through the swirling snow. It wasn’t a human trying to break in, but
a dog that wanted to come in.
He let out a
breath, trying to calm the adrenaline running through his veins. “It’s for you,
Mag,” he said, before he turned to flip on the lights.
His dog was
standing in front of the door, pawing it. He obviously knew his visitor. Jonah
walked over and opened it, letting in some snow and a smaller golden retriever
who was obviously happy to see Magnus. She shook out the ice and snow from her
fur, and Jonah watched, amused, as they greeted each other. “You’ve been
holding out on me, buddy.” He bent down to scratch her behind her ears. “And
who do you belong to?”
She gave him a
cursory glance before turning her attention back to Magnus. Jonah watched the
dogs for a moment longer and then headed back to the recliner. They followed
him and flopped down next to his chair when he sat down. The pair got
comfortable lying next to each other. “A girl who likes a quiet evening at
home? You’re a lucky dog, Magnus.”
The quiet didn’t
last long before the doorbell echoed through the house. Since he knew his
parents had a key and he didn’t expect them for another hour or so, Jonah
thought about not answering it. But with the storm raging outside, he knew he
had to let whoever it was in.
“Probably someone
looking for your girlfriend,” he said to Magnus as he got up from the chair.
“At least I hope it is. Please don’t let it be Ms. Davis.” His mother’s friend
meant well, but when she’d come by earlier today she couldn’t stop saying “you
poor boy.” It was enough to make any soldier want to go AWOL.
He walked slowly
down the hall, grateful his parents didn’t have stairs, or the person at the
door would be waiting a lot longer. He opened it with both dogs at his heels. A
woman stood in front of him, bundled in a parka, hat, and scarf so only her
eyes were visible. She pulled her scarf down. “Hey, Jonah, I’m looking for my
dog, Lola. Did she come over here?” She craned her neck, trying to get a look
at the dogs who were hiding behind him.
Jonah was battling
to hold the door with the wind and snow slamming into them so hard he could
barely see the porch stairs. He motioned her inside. Once she was in, she
pulled off her hat and scarf. Her short brown hair was sticking up at odd
angles, but she didn’t seem to care about anything except her dog.
“Lola, honey! You
scared me! Never do that again.” She hugged her dog while she scolded her.
Magnus was trying to nose in on the hugging action, too, and got a scratch
behind the ears for his trouble.
Jonah looked down
at the reunion. She’d started to peel off her coat and gloves, while her dog
danced around her. The woman’s heart-shaped face dredged up memories from a
lifetime ago.
Kami Jackson.
A little zing of awareness skittered up his spine. Her smile was entwined with
so many of his happiest high school memories. Being on the track team together.
Star-gazing. Best friends for life. Or so he’d promised her. She’d matched him
in humor, goals, and ambition, and he’d even allowed himself to imagine what it
would be like to marry her. But after graduation, he’d joined the service,
she’d fallen off the grid, and he’d had no choice but to let her go.
He swallowed, knowing he had to say something. “Hey,
Kami.”
She managed to
look up at him while her dog finished bathing her chin. “We haven’t seen each
other in nearly six years, and all I get is a ‘Hey, Kami?’ Come on, you can do better than that.”
Part of him wanted
to smile at her sass, but he gave her an impassive stare instead. It would
never been the same between them, so why try to go back? Besides, what did she
want him to say? “Okay. How about, it looks like you need to get a leash for
your dog.”
She frowned up at
him, and he saw the shadows under her eyes. She looked exhausted, and in that
moment, he wished he’d said something to make her smile.
“I can see we’re
bothering you. I’ll just take Lola and head home.” She stood, and both dogs
zigzagged around her legs, begging for more attention. “Just give me a second.”
She tried to bend
down and grab her gloves and got some more wet doggie kisses. Magnus was
totally focused on her, but looked back at Jonah every now and then as if he
couldn’t understand why Jonah wasn’t joining in on the fun. Would he even come
to Jonah’s side if he called? He wasn’t sure. Magnus was giving Lola and Kami
some pretty adoring looks, and it was obvious he knew them well. Jonah hadn’t
been a part of Magnus’s life for a while.
He folded his
arms, watching how easy it was for Kami to stay balanced while two dogs jumped
on her. He’d always taken the ability to stand upright for granted. Watching
her stand on two feet didn’t hurt like it might have months ago, though. He’d
worked really hard in rehab to deal with his feelings of loss and resentment,
and he was grateful for that effort now.
Taking a breath,
he watched her try to put her things back on and was surprised at how different
she looked. The thin girl he remembered from high school was still trim, but
her jeans and sweater now had curves in all the right places. Yet, her eyes
that had always been laughing in high school, weren’t laughing anymore. She had
a hollow look in her face, like the people he’d seen visiting their loved ones
at the rehab center. Did that have to do with losing her dog? Or seeing him?
Probably the latter. Who wouldn’t look like that, seeing him now?
He didn’t wait to
see the pity in her eyes or hear how sorry she was. Reaching for the handle, he
opened the door and immediately felt a blast of cold. “I’m glad you found your
dog.”
Kami didn’t say a
word to Jonah, just snapped a leash on Lola’s collar. The dog immediately sat
down on her haunches in the doorway and began to whine when she looked outside.
It did look pretty bad out there. The frigid wind effortlessly pushed the snow
into drifts, blasting it sideways across the yard. Jonah turned in time to see
Kami square her shoulders, her mouth pulled into a tight line.
He sighed
inwardly. Okay, his mom had raised him better than this. He was out of line and
that wasn’t like him. The old him, anyway. “Hey, that storm’s really picked up.
Do you want to wait a bit and warm up at least?”
Even to him, his
voice didn’t sound very welcoming, and Kami’s look of misgiving confirmed it.
He was out of practice. Magnus stared up at him, clearly unimpressed at his
attempt. The dog darted a glance at Kami as if to say, yeah, my human’s a
little rusty at this. Sorry.
Jonah
straightened. His dog was not going to be embarrassed by his lack of manners.
He could fix this.
Kami pulled on the
leash. “No, thanks. We’ve bothered you enough. Come on, girl.” She ducked her
head, but not before he saw the hurt in her eyes. Guilt welled in him.
Jonah grabbed her
arm as she squeezed by. “Hey, I’m sorry about what I said. Give me a chance to
make it up to you.” He bent down so she’d be forced to look at him. “I was just
about to eat some of my mom’s stew and that would definitely warm you up. Are
you hungry?”
She hesitated,
pinning him with her gaze as if to gauge his sincerity before she finally
relented. “Okay, that would be great, actually.” She didn’t exactly look
convinced as she took off her coat and gloves for the second time, but at least
she’d agreed to stay.
When she turned,
he could see her jeans were soaking wet. How long was she looking for her
dog? “You’ll never get warm wearing that. I have some sweatpants you could
borrow, and we could throw your jeans in the dryer.”
She shivered and
looked down. “Thanks. I’m freezing.”
He was about to
turn down the hall to his room, but his prosthetic foot caught on the rug in
the entryway, and he stumbled. Biting back a curse, he put his hand on the wall
to anchor himself and find his balance. He stood there for a moment, unwilling
to meet her gaze. How could he limp along in front of the girl who remembered
him as a confident track star? He didn’t want her to see what he was now.
When he didn’t
move, she stepped forward. “Jonah?” Her cold fingers on his arm jolted him out
of his thoughts.
He forced his feet
to step forward, hoping all the gait training he’d suffered through to make his
walk look normal had worked. “I’ll be right back. You can wait in the kitchen.
It’s right through there.”
She nodded and
dropped her hand, as if she knew he didn’t want to talk about it.
“Did you think I
forgot where your kitchen is?” Kami gave him a small smile. Her voice was warmer
now which helped Jonah to relax a bit. “It felt like we were either here at
your house or at the track all through high school.” She looked around and for
just a second the exhaustion on her face melted away. “Don’t you wish you could
go back sometimes? Everything was so much simpler then.”
Every day.
Jonah still struggled to accept his new reality sometimes. It was too easy to
wish for his life before the pain and rehab and managing a prosthetic. “We had some good times.”
The brightness in
her eyes faded. “Yeah, we did.”
He waited until
she’d started toward the kitchen before he walked down the hall to get the dry
clothing for her. Magnus stood beside him and licked his hand. That dog still
read him like a book. Jonah touched his silky head. “I’m all right, boy.”
When he walked
into the kitchen, Kami was on a stool, hunched over the island, her head in her
hands. She looked small and defeated, something he’d never seen on her before.
“You okay?” he asked as he joined her.
“Just tired.” She
tried to muster up a smile, but it looked more like a grimace.
“You still staying
up late star-gazing?” He wanted to see a real smile on her face, one that
reached her eyes.
“I wish.” She
looked down at her hands, folded in front of her. “Remember how hard I tried to
teach you the constellations? You claimed you could never see them, but I
always thought you could.”
“I just wanted an
excuse to stay out late.” And to be near her. Even with her struggles in her
home life she was light and fun, intelligent and driven, and that had drawn him
to her. There had been so many times in their last year of high school that
he’d thought about what it would be like if she were his girlfriend, but he
didn’t want to ruin the friendship if it didn’t work out. In the end, he’d
settled for staying best friends, but a part of him still wished he’d been
braver and tried for something more. And if his reaction when he first saw her
tonight was any clue, even after six years, those old feelings were still there
for him. But so much had changed. Even if they did rekindle their relationship,
what could he offer her now?
His tried and true
friend-zone tactics he’d mastered when he was around her in high school kicked
in and he stood to put some distance between them. “I’ll warm up the stew and
get the sugar cookies for dessert.” He put his lead foot down carefully and
walked slowly to the fridge.
“I love your mom’s
cookies. Did you decorate them?”
“She tried to get
me to.” It was a Christmas tradition at their house, and his reluctance had put
a damper on it for his mom. His conscience twinged with guilt, remembering how
he’d claimed he was tired and retreated to his room. He should have humored
her.
“You were just
trying to make sure they all stayed edible, I’m sure. You always did use way
too much icing.” Her sassy tone was coming back and he glanced back at her to
see if she was smiling. From the way her lips were pressed together, Kami was
barely holding back a grin. A little corner of his heart warmed to see it.
After carefully
setting down the container of stew, he rested his palms on the counter, facing
her. “Hey, I’m an expert at decorating those. And you can never have too much
icing.”
“When you can’t
tell if the cookie is supposed to be Santa or a stocking, there’s too much
icing.” She quirked an eyebrow in challenge.
He shook his head.
This was too easy. “Who cares what it’s supposed to look like as long as it
tastes good?”
She didn’t admit
defeat gracefully and merely rolled her eyes. “Because it’s a sugar cookie, and
decorating it to look like something is half of the fun.”
“Mine look like
something. Something good to eat.” He leaned toward her. “You have to admit,
I’ve got you there. I mean, what can you say to that? You know it’s true
because you finished off every cookie I ever brought you.”
“How do you know I
didn’t give them to my dog?” Kami laughed and Lola pricked up her ears at her
mistress, as if she was hoping for that very thing.
Jonah narrowed his
eyes and pointed his finger toward her. “My cookies are a work of art. You just
don’t want to admit it.”
She held up her
hands in mock surrender. “Okay, okay, I’ll plead the Fifth.” She looked up at
him and, for a moment, it was as if they were back in high school again with
nothing more to worry about than next week’s math test or tomorrow’s track
meet. But Kami dropped her eyes quickly and the moment was gone. She picked up
the folded sweatpants from the counter. “Thanks again for letting me borrow
these. I’ll just go change out of my wet clothes before I say something that might
incriminate me.”
He chuckled as she
disappeared into the guest bathroom. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d
joked around like that with someone. He’d missed it.
Turning toward the
task at hand, he got things ready for their meal, getting out bowls and spoons.
Before long, Jonah heard the bathroom door open and the dryer next to the
mudroom start running.
When she came back
into the kitchen, he noticed she’d smoothed her hair. It was strange not seeing
her in the ponytail she’d worn through high school, but he could definitely get
used to her short hair and how it drew attention to her eyes. As his gaze
traveled downward to the sweatpants she’d borrowed, though, he could hardly
smother a laugh. The waistband was pulled above her waist, and she’d rolled up
the pant leg bottoms until it looked like she was wearing fat ankle weights.
“Let me guess. The
pants didn’t fit?”
She gave him her
best are-you-kidding-me look. “Yeah, you’re a bit taller than me.” She turned
her ankle to model the uneven rolls for him. “I might start a new fashion,
though. Winter Storm Chic. What do you think?”
“It could work.”
He gestured to the rolls. “And there’s the feature of being able to pull the
excess material down over your cold feet, which could be a selling point.”
She shook her
head. “I think someone already invented something for that. Called socks.” She
wiggled her bare toes.
“Do you need some?
I’ve got extra.” He inwardly winced. Of course with only one foot he’d have
lots of extra socks, but he didn’t want to call any attention to his injury if
he could help it. Kami didn’t even glance at his feet, though.
“I think I’m good,
thanks.” She moved past him and sat down on her stool at the kitchen island
again. “So, is it weird being home?”
Here it comes.
He’d wanted her to be different, but no one could resist fishing for gossip on
how the town’s amputee was doing. He glanced over at her, disappointed. “Not
really.”
But her face was
still open and smiling. “It’s all your dad was able to talk about. He’s so glad
you’re here.”
Jonah resisted the
urge to stare at her. She didn’t seem to be looking for gossip; she was just
happy for him and his family. When did I get so suspicious of people’s
motives? “My dad loves to talk. Probably because his patients are captive
audiences.”
She laughed. “The
perk of being a dentist, I guess.”
“Is that where you
saw my dad? At his office?” He rubbed his hand over his jaw. He wasn’t
surprised his dad had talked about him. His parents had been there for him
through every step of his recovery, spending as much time with him as they
could while he was at Walter Reed in Bethesda. When they’d asked him to come
home to Hill Spring for Christmas, he couldn’t say no.
“No.” She shifted
in her stool. “He came by the high school the other day with his sponsorship
banner and we got to talk a bit.” Then, as if she couldn’t sit still, she slid
off the stool and came to help him dish up the stew.
“He’s sponsoring
something?”
“Harrison Dental
proudly supports the Hill Spring Huskies.” She took the smaller bowl and headed
for the microwave.
“Are you a
sponsor, too?” He was trying to connect the dots, but something wasn’t
clicking. She’d always wanted to be an Olympic runner. What was she doing back
in Hill Spring, anyway?
“I’m the new track
coach at Hill Spring High.”
“You replaced
Coach Stubbs?” he asked.
She leaned in and
he caught the faint, flowery scent of her shampoo. “Yeah, can you believe it?
After thirty years of coaching, though, he can’t leave it alone and still comes
out to watch my practices.”
Jonah had never
thought that man would retire. Coach Stubbs lived and breathed the track team.
He was the most intense man Jonah had ever met before he joined the Marines.
Even then, he could only think of one or two drill sergeants that were more
intense than Coach Stubbs. “That’s got to be intimidating, having your old
coach watch you be the coach.”
“I keep thinking
he’s going to give me critique notes or something, but so far, he hasn’t said a
word. In a way, that’s kind of worse. I mean, what if he hasn’t said anything
because he thinks I’m doing it all wrong?” She took the second bowl of stew
from him and queued it up for the microwave.
“I’m sure you’re
doing great.” And he meant it. She would be a great track coach.
He leaned against
the counter and watched her punch in some numbers and press start to warm up
the stew. Since the accident he’d always felt tense when he was in public or
around people who weren’t family, but that had evaporated with Kami. Their easy
camaraderie had returned, as if they’d never been apart, and for the first time
since he’d woken up in the hospital, he felt normal. But the best part was,
there wasn’t a trace of pity in her eyes when she talked to him.
He hadn’t expected
that, but he liked it. A lot.
) but you really need to pick one up. They are as amazing as she is!
