Saturday, February 25, 2017

Hawaii Five-O Recap and Review: Steve's Got Some 'Splaining To Do!

Last week ended on a tense cliffhanger, but we don't get any resolution to that this week. Instead we find the missing uranium with Darius Rucker!

We start out with the team breaching a warehouse. It looks all clear, but surprise! there's an explosion. The team's reaction goes in slo-mo, but, wow, another surprise! It's just a training video for the Tactical Teamwork seminar for the Police Academy on what to do during a raid. Steve is doing a great job telling them about communication and trust, but Danny's motto today is To Undermine and Embarrass. He didn't tell Steve his new motto, though, and blindsides him by telling the cadets he's upset that Steve looked at a paper on his desk. Steve uses crayons! Steve isn't trustworthy! Yeah, it was uncomfortable and embarrassing for everyone. Duke finally steps in and pats them on the shoulders like a dad and sends them to their rooms on their way. (I liked last week better when Chin and Steve looked mighty fine doing their jobs and not having juvenile and ridiculous conversations in front of people who look up to them.)

In the car Steve tells Danny he's over-reacting (#truth) and Danny says his privacy was invaded. (Over a list on a desk? Did it say check the box if you like Suzie? Are we in junior high again?) Steve thankfully heads home, but calls Chin to update him on the Danny List situation (poor Chin in the middle). (Please let this end soon. It's so far beneath an elite task force who has been together seven years.) Finally, we get something interesting. McG sees blood on his door. He pulls his gun and finds Sang Min shot and bleeding in the kitchen.

The new M.E. Noelani comes over to treat Sang Min's wounds. He's chatting her up (she's with Five-O now and they make their own rules! It's allll good) and making her feel uncomfortable (you single, sweet cheeks?) She tapes his bandage to his necklace (oops) but otherwise patches him up. He spills that he was supposed to be helping a refugee mom and two kids get on the island with his friend Zander, but they really smuggled in a dude with a gun who killed poor Zander. Sang Min didn't wait around to rub tiger balm on the guy, he got shot and got out of there before coming to McG's. McG tells Sang Min to go home and stay there.

The team goes down to the docks and Kono finds prints on the container the shooter came in on. It's Abati, a bomb-maker and part-time ISIS/Boko Haram trainer! Yeah, that sounds bad. They all go back to the Chatting Table and find out that there were emails with someone named Tahan, the guy who hired Zander to bring Abati onto the island, and a map of the Waimea jungle. Does the map lead to a training camp? Or a safe house? Danny and Steve will go check it out!

There are no roads in and out of the jungle (supposedly), so they skydive in doing a tandem jump. Danny's not thrilled and doesn't want to die strapped to Steve like an infant. (Is he calling himself an infant?) Steve enjoys the view from the air and tells Danny to open his eyes, live a little! He refuses and tells Steve he hates him. On solid ground again Steve is trying to get Danny to admit he liked the skydive and they discuss that SuperSecretSuperSilly list again. (*head slap* Why? It's like some sort of viewer torture.) The SuperSecretPrivateList McG looked at was "Things Danny Likes." (Was Steve's name on there? Is that why he's mad Steve saw it?) It does have "traveling" listed. Steve points out Danny moans and groans when they fly and he says that's because he's worried he'll die when they land. They blather on about the SuperSecretPrivateList and Danny finally tells him it's his list of things to do when he retires. Steve is shocked. Retire? Danny reveals he's close to twenty years on the force and hey, maybe he'll open an Italian restaurant with his grandma's recipes after he retires. Steve doesn't seem impressed and tells him eighty percent of restaurants fail in the first six months.

The rest of the team has been busy while McDanno is tramping through the jungle. They went to check out Tahan's house, but it was clear. When Chin checks in to tell Steve, though, Abati's men get the drop on him and McDanno is taken prisoner. (Never talk on the phone when you're on a secret jungle mission!) (But maybe Danny will tell the terrorists about the SuperSecretPrivateList and bore them to death!) The baddies frogmarch our boys through the camp and we see the bomb on the back of the truck, the people cooking TATP, and Abati! Their guards are getting pushy, and we all know McG hates it when terrorists get pushy, so he smacks his guard around and takes his gun away. Danny does the same and we have a gunfight! They kill everyone except Abati who gets away on a motorbike. One guy isn't quite dead, though, and triggers the bomb. Oops. He was fast on the trigger finger. (See what I did there?) And now there's just fifty-nine minutes to defuse it.

Danny reports that they don't have any cell service and the SAT phone has a bullet hole in it. What's Steve got? He's standing by the bomb and there's a lot of failsafes, decoy wires, and countermeasures. That sounds bad. He doesn't want to try to defuse it, because if he makes a mistake, he kills half the people on the island. They need the bomb squad. Danny mocks him, but Steve calmly says they'll drive the truck to the drop zone clearing and call the bomb squad for instructions to defuse it. Danny doesn't care they are on a timetable and wants Steve to explain the plan further. Let's just all pull up a log while Steve tells us again how we're going to do this with uneven terrain and everything!

Danny is worried about doors slamming and Steve is worried about the vibrations from starting the car. He tells Danny "Love you, bro," before he starts it, but all is well. Abati gets to a road (hey, I thought there weren't any roads in or out? Why did McDanno have to parachute in?) Anyway, Abati kills a cop and takes his car.

McDanno drive slowly through the jungle chatting about what it will say on Danny's tombstone (Steve says, Beloved Curmudgeon. Um. No. Danny says Danny Williams, We Think. We didn't find all the pieces. That would be expensive to put all that on the tombstone, just sayin') They decide they need a distraction so they go back to discussing the SuperSecretPrivateList. Noooo! The full story is that Grace had a school assignment about writing down things she wanted to do so Danny did it, too. He wants to spare Charlie from worrying about the job Danny does for a living. They leave that there when Steve realizes the fuel gauge is going down too fast and checks it out. Bullet hole! Steve will fix it with a flare and a rubber mat. (MacGyver move?) Once again, Danny doesn't care about the timetable and requires Steve to explain it to him. (Let's get comfy. Bomb ticking in the back? Who cares?) Danny is worried about a flare being next to the bomb so Steve tells him to go get wet bark then. (Or, you know, anything to get Danny away from him.) Danny does admit that nitpicking is his life. (He needs a new hobby.) And Steve says to trust him a little bit. (Yes, please.)

Lou is at the Chatting Table telling Chin how Abati jacked a police car and they haven't heard from Steve and Danny. Back at the newly fixed truck, McDanno are worried that there's no cell service still, and they are at 30% battery life. Which is a secondary problem when they come to a deep stream. Steve says they'll build a bridge out of the wood on the back of the truck and Danny is feeling left out because Steve didn't consult him on the plan. (Why would he? Danny wouldn't have anything positive to say.) He stands there and watches Steve do all the work gathering the wood, while he talks about his hurt feelings. Well, Steve has some hurt feelings, too, since he wasn't included in retirement plans. (Maybe he wants to count down the days?)

Chin and Kono check out the stolen police car and Abati ran one name--Sang Min. (Don't cop computers have a password or something? Sheesh!) Over at Casa Sang Min, he's watching a nature show when Abati arrives. After being knocked around a bit, Sang Min agrees to help him get off the island. He takes him to the docks and somehow, Five-O is already there, hiding among the containers. They face-off and Abati threatens to kill Sang Min. Lou shrugs and says go ahead, but Sang Min is offended. He thought they were ohana! (You'd think he'd realize it was a ploy with as many police situations as he's been in. Whatever, I guess.)

The bridge is finally done and Danny has to drive it across while Steve guides him. (Seventeen minutes left before the bomb explodes, give or take!) Oddly, Danny stops 3/4 of the way over the makeshift bridge and won't keep going. (He needs a minute. Because again, who cares the bomb is ticking!) Steve talks him through the plan (again) and he makes it over before the boards break, but barely.

They drive into the clearing, but bad news, Chin tells them Abati can't help them defuse the bomb, he's dead. (We hardly knew ya, Darius!) The Navy bomb squad lady they get on the line says she wouldn't even try to defuse that bomb in the field. (But they would in the office? Bomb squad school? I don't know where they would try it.) She does have a thought, though. Maybe they can remove the uranium canister and then get out of the blast zone. The problem is, you have to take out the uranium rods and expose yourself to radiation before you can get the canister off the main bomb and put the rods back in. Of course Steve volunteers for the dangerous part, and takes out the car battery (it's lead-lined) to protect himself from the radiation. Danny goes to retreat, but acts like he's going to say something nice to Steve. In the end, though, he just wastes precious time (again) and says nothing. Steve gets down to business and takes the uranium rods out. They quickly put the battery back in the car and drive away.

Danny finally says he's sorry he didn't tell Steve, and Steve says he's sorry for what he's about to do and surprise! rolls the truck. Danny is upset at the turn of events, (turn, get it?), but Steve says if he wants to live, they'll get behind the engine block. They do and wait for the explosion. (I might have tried to drive a little further, but that's just me.) Before the blast, Steve asks Danny to name his restaurant Steve's, so that if they're not together, they'll still be together. (Because nothing says BFF like naming a restaurant after them.) After the blast, their ears are ringing so they can't hear, and Steve misunderstands that Danny will indeed name his Italian restaurant Steve's. And then he falls over laughing, like I'm sure we all did.

Back at Steve's house, Danny is serving everyone different Italian family recipes. Sang Min is still mad at Lou and in order to express his anger smashes his dinner roll. Danny takes the high road and tells Sang Min he can't come to his future restaurant because there will be a no mullet rule. There's some more comments from Flippa, Kamekona, Charlie, etc., but most of the audience (my) attention is on Steve looking fine in a red plaid shirt. (Maybe wardrobe could consider putting him in red more often. Blue is best, but red is a close second.) Lou takes a phone call from HPD and the truck Steve was in had a KeNo construction logo. That company was scheduled for a renovation project across from the palace where the governor was scheduled to be. They were the target! Dun, dun, dun. (Do you want to bet Steve will be required to explain this to Danny? More than once? I mean, in keeping with the theme of Steve 'splaining the entire ep, right? All I can say is the man has more patience than a saint!)

No preview for next week. Again.

What did you think? Did you watch?


Joyful said...

Loved! I agreed about all the wasting time as well as about driving a bit further from the bomb. I also noticed Sang Mom's necklace getting in the way of the bandage twice.
I did wonder at the beginning why Steve didn't tell chin he had an intruder. Is he still that much of a lone wolf?

Julie Coulter Bellon said...

I thought that, too! Why not let Chin know he's got another intruder in his house? And with as often as Casa McG is broken into, why not get an alarm system or something? LOL I did like the banter with McG and Sang Min because it was funny. He was sitting in his blood waiting for McG to get back from dance class? Made me smile. And McG, too. :)

Darlena said...

Great review and I agree completely. It was embarrassing and torture watching Danny's ranting to Steve in front of the HPD recruits and unbelievable how a cop who's been on the force for 20 years can behave so unprofessionally. I kept saying to the TV, yes please go ahead and retire right now, go back to Jersey and open your restaurant there.

Julie Coulter Bellon said...

Darlena, I was watching some H50 reruns on TNT last night and the banter in the early seasons was witty and fun. I miss that! Now it just seems too mean-spirited, and can be hard to watch. :(