Thursday, October 20, 2011

Campaign Platform Challenge

This is my entry for the Third Campaigner Challenge. Here's what the challenge was:

Write a blog post in 300 words or less, excluding the title. The post can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should show:

that it’s morning,
that a man or a woman (or both) is at the beach
that the MC (main character) is bored
that something stinks behind where he/she is sitting
that something surprising happens.
Just for fun, see if you can involve all five senses AND include these random words: "synbatec," "wastopaneer," and "tacise." (NB. these words are completely made up and are not intended to have any meaning other than the one you give them).



Death Rains Down

The stale stench of rotting fish and the frantic calls of grounded birds drenched in oil were all around me---filling my nose and making me want to scream myself. I sank down into the wet sand, lifting my hand to run my fingers through my hair, before I took a look at its grimy appearance and decided against it. The sun had barely crested the horizon and I knew this was going to be another long day of trying to clean up the mess of the tanker a few miles off the coast.

Taking a deep breath I tried to muster up some energy to stand and get to work, but I’d seen too much of this type of destruction before. I thought saving the environment would give purpose to my life, but instead it only depressed me. “Synbatec, my little wastopaneer,” my native mother used to say. “Keep your life in balance or you end up synbatec. Tacise, or, as your father says, remember.” I missed her.

With a sigh, I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees while turning my face into my sleeve. It helped relieve the rotting fish smell for a moment and I was grateful. “Snap out of it,” I told myself.

The call of the birds was getting more insistent and woeful and I knew I needed to go. Before I could stand up, however, the hum of a plane buzzed above me and I shaded my eyes, looking for it. It didn’t take long to spot, as the flash across the sky was leaving heavy black smoke trailing behind it. Within seconds, it had exploded into a fiery ball. Scrambling, I headed inland, searching for cover while the flaming debris starting to rain down on the dead fish, defenseless birds, and me.

17 comments:

JesiMarie said...

Whoa, things just went from bad to worse there! Very well done!

I'm number 87

Jess said...

Truly love this one. I took an environmental approach as well! You have my vote and follow :)

I'm entry #5

Sarah Pearson said...

And just when she thought things couldn't get any tougher ...

Mel Fowler said...

That was great, good job.

K.T. Hanna said...

Great job at conveying the disaster. Fiery balls in the sky... I'd be much less composed than she is. Well done!

bridgetstraub.com said...

Great twist at the end. Mine is #56

Clarbojahn said...

Great work! I like the imagery.
Hope you *like* mine. I'm #91.

Clarbojahn said...

Love your surprise ending! Mine is about growing up, #91. Hope you like it. Clar

David Powers King said...

Very nice first line. It made me concerned from the beginning. No one's done a take of the beach like this yet, so kudos for being unique. I'm enjoyed reading all of your entries! :)

Sheri L. Swift said...

Loved this, a subject very dear to my heart. Great way to use the words! Am voting! ; )

Angela Cothran said...

Creative! Great use of the words and I love your take on the beach scene. That's one beach I wouldn't want to visit.

Jen said...

Wow, fantastic use of imagery here! Very powerful stuff.
Mine is #25.

Julie Coulter Bellon said...

Thanks so much for all your kind comments everyone. I'm so glad you liked it! I'm trying to read everyone else's entries. It's so hard to choose a favorite!

mooderino said...

It's one disaster after another (just like my life). Good job.

mood
(new follower)
Moody Writing
@mooderino
no. 79

thepatientdreamer.com said...

Whoa this is very good. mmm.. I am wondering if you live on the East Coast of NZ as we are having problems with a ship leaking oil and it is doing just what you have described to our beautiful beaches along there. Loved it, will check out the rest of your blog now.

Damyanti said...

vivid imagery and great escalation...

Maeve Frazier said...

Very creative. Love the imagery. You did a great job.