Saturday, April 1, 2017

Hawaii Five-O Recap & Review: Those Cheating Liars!

We've had a long break, but Hawaii Five-O is back! And so is Danny's ex-wife Rachel. There is so much history between those two, this ought to be an interesting eppy.

We start out with some random dude shopping at a Rainbow Valley supermarket and buying beer, cereal, paper towels, duct tape, and candy. When he loads it all in his trunk, we see a women tied up and hooded, but he just stacks the grocery bags neatly around her. (Who knew kidnappers were so tidy?)

Next we have Danny waiting for Charlie at Leeward Academy when Rachel pulls up as well. He goes over to ask if it was really his pickup day and it is. She's flustered because she's getting a divorce from Stan. Danny asks if they had therapy and she says the therapist even told them to get divorced (ouch) and that's what Stan wants. Charlie comes out and says hello (he's so cute!) and Danny and Rachel look sad.

Grover comes into Steve's office whining that his daughter made it into Northwestern so now he can't own a sailboat and is going to be poor. McG suggests the degree and subsequent well-paying job will be good enough that Grover can guilt her into buying him whatever he wants, but Grover points out she'll probably have kids of her own by then and will worry about their college tuition. (Maybe someone could mention scholarships to them? Or perhaps Samantha could go to school and work part-time to support herself? I mean, really, this isn't the end of the world for the parents.) The whole point of the scene was to say that Grover wouldn't be retiring like Danny because he'll need to work for his kids. Oy. Thankfully, there's a phone call and a security situation downstairs. The guards have an old man facedown on the floor. It's Harry the old detective guy that knew Steve's dad!

Noelani comes up to staple Harry's head wound together. She doesn't seem thrilled about all these house calls and Steve tells her this will be the last one for a while. (Haha! I hope Max gave her a heads up about extra duties with the task force). Harry was doing recon for a jealous husband and saw the wife get kidnapped. He tried to save her and got cold-cocked from behind, so he came to Steve with the partial plate of the kidnappers. They all go visit the husband who doesn't seem thrilled to have them there but before he can throw them out, Kono has his phones tagged. (Haha. They just barged in and did what they wanted, I guess.) The kidnappers want one million dollars. (Really? That won't get you very far these days.)

Danny meets them there and Harry talks about how he couldn't handle retirement and watching old cop shows all day. Danny thinks Steve put him up to saying that. (With so much retirement talk, I'm starting to think Danny might be serious! Would he become a consultant or something?) They go over the case and Harry mentions that Celine, the kidnapped wife, had a heated conversation with another woman. Harry has a pic of her, but it's on old school film that needs to be developed. He goes to the darkroom with Jerry and they chat about how Jerry keeps track of the license plates that park outside his house and that it's better security doing it old school than with digital that can be hacked. Harry is all, if I could figure out digital I'd use it. (For someone so suspicious of technology, Jerry is always presented as a genius at using it, just sayin'.)

They ID the girl in the picture as Natasha Baron and the husband is surprised to see her in the picture with his wife because they had a falling out a long time ago. Five-O gets Natasha's address and they make sure to say she lives alone. (That never bodes well.) On the way over, Steve notices something wrong with Danny and asks him about it. He doesn't want to talk in front of Harry, but finally says that Rachel is divorcing Stan. Steve asks if they had therapy and thinks Danny should try to talk to Stan. Harry waxes poetic in the back seat that life will go on and it's hope in the pit of despair. When he said that, all I could think of was:

Back at Natasha's, she's enjoying a nice hot shower when the doorbell rings. She gets out, covers up with her towel and says just a minute. Then fifteen seconds later she's answering the door fully dressed to shoes, her hair and makeup done. It's like some sort of miracle! The person at the door (the masked kidnapper!) is tired of waiting, however, and just busts in. There's a struggle and they put a hood over her head and take her away. Five-O is late to the party, but they get there in time to hear that the neighbors heard screaming and saw a car screech away.

Kono tells the husband that Natasha was kidnapped and he mysteriously gets a text he says is work. Lies! Kono also gets the text from his phone (did he forget they tagged everything?) and it's a pic of Natasha bound and gagged in the trunk at the Rainbow Valley supermarket! Deja vu! He admits he's having an affair with Natasha. McG lays it out that he didn't pay the ransom for his wife and Harry realizes he was hired to spy on the wife when Tom was the CheatingHusband! Harry punches him. Danny is all, hey we don't do that usually. (Except they do. All. The. Time.) McG is outraged and tells CheatingHusband he better hope both women get back safely.

Natasha is brought down to the basement where Celine is in a chair. The women are tied back to back and Celine tries to calm Natasha down. She hopes CheatingHusband loves Natasha more than her or they are in trouble.

Harry is at the Chatting Table with Chin pointing out the beer brand in the ransom pic. The bag is from the supermarket, the beer is recognizable, so they need store footage to see the kidnapper. They work on that while Steve goes to talk to Danny in his office. Apparently, Danny called Stan, but Stan said he couldn't take it anymore and Rachel is still in love with Danny. Harry comes in and thinks he called it, that Rachel and Danny will get back together. Danny says no, he has a girlfriend he "likes very much." (Wow. If that's the ringing endorsement for Melissa, they are in trouble. They've been together for two years, I think, and he likes her very much?) *shakes head* Steve fills Harry in on how Rachel cheated on Stan with Danny, but justifies it with "they were on a break." Remind anyone else of this?

Anyway, he recaps the Charlie situation on how Rachel lied and said the baby was Stan's when it was really Danny's and they found out when Charlie needed bone marrow (like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives . . .) But before this history rehash can go any further, Chin comes in and says they ID'd the kidnapper and got the address where they're probably holding the women.

They go over with a massive police presence, SWAT, HPD, Five-O, and surround the building. (That doesn't seem smart to me, and is against any hostage negotiation guidelines, but whatever. It's not like Five-O cares about police procedure, right?) The kidnappers send out Celine with a bomb vest on and the police just give up (on McG's orders) so they can take Natasha and leave. (No negotiation, no nothing! The kidnappers are all, later suckas!)

Celine is freaking out so McG holds her hand and says they're going to breathe and be very still together. Very zen of him. Only they don't show any of that and the next shot is of him behind the car while Celine is with the bomb squad. They unzip the vest and just take it off like it was last year's fashion. The team takes her home and considering her husband didn't care if she was murdered, she's pretty calm. CheatingHusband does say he's sorry, though.

The kidnappers call and tell him to get in a taxi with the suitcase of money, which he does. Sneaky Five-O has Chin following on a motorcycle with Kono and Steve in a helo above. Danny is actually driving his own car with Grover! They all descend on the apartment building and CheatingHusband is on the roof. The kidnappers provide binoculars so he can look over at the next apartment building and see his girlfriend on a balcony there with a gun to her head. They tell him to send the money over on a cable between the two buildings, which he does. The police are moving in, like no one has ever had a hostage situation before. (What happened to establish contact? Keep the kidnappers calm? Make concessions through negotiation? Don't escalate the situation? Yeah, who cares about that, let's go ALL IN!)

The kidnappers don't shoot the hostage, but do shoot at the helo, so Kono sniper shoots one of them. Natasha runs to the patio and the other kidnapper runs away. Chin can't corral him, so Danny follows the guy down the laundry chute and gets cold-cocked on the back of the head that Noelani has to stitch up. That poor girl. Anyway, they get the dead kidnapper's phone and ID his partner, Collin Hansen.

Back at Celine's house, she's packing and leaving her wedding rings on the dresser. The doorbell rings and she doesn't even check who it is before she opens the door and she's kidnapped again. Poor, dumb Celine. But she's taken to the Blue Room of Doom and questioned by Harry. He wanted her to know what it felt like to be really kidnapped and asks her about why she didn't struggle when she was first taken and why she didn't have ligature marks on her wrists like Natasha. Oh, and the trigger wire on the "bomb vest" wasn't even connected! (When did they figure that out? I mean, that bomb squad should be fired if they didn't catch that right off. Seriously. Basic Bomb Squad School training fail!) But Celine was the mastermind so she could have her husband's money! McG joins in to say that Collin Hansen was picked up at the airport waiting for her and he had pics, texts, and voicemails of her and him together. She was a lying, cheating spouse, too, along with her husband! It's like a theme of the week or something!

McG praises Harry for seeing all the angles and invites him for beers and to tell him stories of his dad. Harry invites him to a poker game so he can hear stories of his dad from the poker group and Harry can take his money. Apparently Daddy McG was Mr. All In.

Danny goes over to Rachel's and offers his support to her when she tells the kids about Stan. He feels a little bit responsible and she assures him he's not. They hold hands and give each other sad smiles. Then he watches from a doorway as she tells the kids about the divorce.

Next week it looks like the entire team is kidnapped in the jungle! You know, I'm starting to think the show really, really likes kidnapping stories! *heavy sarcasm* (Five-O is easily the most kidnapped group of individuals to ever wear a badge! LOL)

Did you watch? What did you think?

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