I Can Do Hard Things

Since I was told my lungs were very scarred and my lung function was permanently reduced, I knew there would be things I couldn't do. One of those things was playing my flute in public. I've been playing my flute since 8th grade and I've enjoyed playing musical numbers and being part of musical groups for a very long time. But with reduced lung function, that just didn't seem possible anymore.

 
Last week, I was asked to play a musical number in church and my immediate reaction was to say no, I'm sorry, I can't do that anymore. But I didn't. I thought about it. I looked at the music. It wasn't hard. Maybe I could do it, I told myself. I practiced it on my own and felt pretty good about it, so I went to the first rehearsal. 

It was terrible. 

After going through the number a few times, I could feel my oxygen levels getting lower, which makes it harder to think clearly, (and breathe), and I couldn't stay on count. Eventually I had to give in and tell the other ladies I just needed to go home. I felt defeated.

My husband was there when I came through the door and I told him what had happened while I tried to get my oxygen levels back up. I was frustrated. I just want to be back to how I was BEFORE--when I could go through a musical number without thinking twice about it. My husband listened and commiserated and then said, well, maybe if you practice a little each day, you can help your lungs get stronger. So, with that advice in mind, I didn't give up. I practiced a little every day, trying to strengthen my lungs enough to get the breath I needed for each note. We performed last Sunday and I'm so happy with how it turned out. It's such a beautiful song. And though the recording isn't the best, you can still hear the song pretty well. It's called, "Die Auferstehung (The Resurrection)."