My show is back! I've been looking forward to this all summer!
We start out with some beautiful shots of Hawaii that remind me of why I want to go there someday. Sigh. Someday, Hawaii, I will be there to see all of that myself!
Cut to a hotel pool where an exasperated lifeguard is chasing some bratty kids around telling them not to run and jump.
(Most of the hotels I stay in have big signs that say No Lifeguard On Duty. Parental Supervision Required. This must be a nice hotel.) Unfortunately, that lifeguard doesn't even have a good teacher voice and not shockingly, those kids don't listen. Thankfully, Steve and Danny interrupt her day and ask if she is Tani Rey and can they have a minute? Apparently, she has no qualms about leaving her post (did she get a lifeguard sub? Or was she just grateful to leave them all unattended?) and they go sit at a table to look at a picture of a murder victim.
The murder victim is Benny Lung who was strangled to death last week and the only clue they have is a hacker that goes by the name Mizchief, like a rapper name. (Don't worry, though, it's just a plot point, we never hear about poor Benny again). They want LifeguardTani to go undercover at Aloha State to ID Mizchief. She turns them down, says she's busy, and Danny says, busy doing what? Getting harassed by eight year olds? (Haha. I hope we see a lighter Danny this year with more one-liners than groaning and griping.) Steve tells her that her boss isn't expecting her back to work today and he gets down to business. Five-O needs someone who doesn't think like a cop and isn't afraid to break the rules, or someone's nose. Apparently, she punched out her training officer, and cheated on her written exam. Steve doesn't care. Says he knows her dad died (surprise! All the tortured heroes on this show have dead fathers) and she was a great cadet who reminds him of Chin who's running his own task force in San Francisco now. (Oddly, he asks her if she knows who Chin is and she acts like she doesn't. Five-O routinely busts into places and shouts Five-O like everyone on the island knows who they are. Since there's only six of them, wouldn't everyone know who they are?) (Also, since LifeguardTani is replacing Chin/Kono, it isn't surprising that she reminds me of Kono who, at her meet and greet, had Danny crushing on her and she punched someone.) LifeguardTani says no to going undercover and walks away.
Cut to Aloha State where Mizchief hacker is on the quad, letting convicted arsonists out of prison. Jason DuClair literally walks out of Halawa prison when Mizchief opens his door, locks the guard in and there's just one other doorway between him and freedom with no other checkpoints to stop him from escaping. Someone needs to give that prison lessons on better security.
LifeguardTani is headed home where her gamer brother is playing on a system that he can't account for. He leaves and tells her to get a life. Meanwhile, Danny is showing Steve a space where he could put his Italian restaurant in Chinatown. Steve isn't exactly thrilled, thinking Danny said he was going to do a restaurant when he retired. He asks Steve to be his partner and Steve is suspicious that it's about his radiation poisoning and Danny is worried he'll get the big C, but Danny says it's all about having fun. Steve tells him the restaurant is Danny's dream. (Yeah. Stay with that Steve. For all of our sakes.) Before they can talk further, the phone rings and they head back to HQ to talk about Duclair's escape around the Talking Table. Eric tracked the hacker to Aloha State and supposedly the other students picked him out of the footage and said he wasn't registered there. (Really? How small is this university? Ten people? I couldn't tell you who was registered and who wasn't at my university.) Anyway, Mizchief's real name is Aaron Wright, brother to Ian Wright who kidnapped Grover's daughter four years ago. Aaron hacks into Five-O to tell them how happy he is about Duclair getting out. Everyone stares helplessly at the screen.
At Alewa Heights Duclair is there with a serious looking dude and his two sons licking the wood, looking at burned items, and trying to "investigate" a fire to figure out who did it. Back at Jerry's laptop, Grover says Aaron came to the island two months ago and the passenger manifest has one name that doesn't check out--Mick St. John (shout out to a character AOL used to play). There's a hotel room booked under that name, but when they break in, Aaron is there to mock them from a laptop while he is at another undisclosed location. (He calls them Crockett and "white Tubbs" referencing Miami Vice, LOL). (He taunts them some more, but I'm sitting there thinking, why is this hacker so invested in annoying Five-O and releasing Duclair? They didn't kill his bro and he knows that. He doesn't seem to have any motivation at all. Money, I guess?) He knows Steve is about to get a call (he's still plugged into Five-O's Talking Table, apparently), and Steve and Danny rush off to an arson fire with one casualty.
There's a burned out corpse being examined and Noelani tells them he was shot in the kneecaps before he died. The charred body was graphic and gross and we get several close-ups. The team ties the murder victim to a fire that burned out Randy Tao's drug lab where he lost a lot of product and a lieutenant, but they also figure out that Tao used Duclair as a fire investigator. (You would think drug lords could afford to hire legit people instead of going to all the trouble of breaking people out of prison. I guess I just don't think like a drug lord.)
The team heads to Tao's house where they find three smoking corpses. (Duclair was obviously showing his own brand of appreciation for Tao getting him out.) Jerry finds a money trail from Tao to Wright (what a newbie mistake for a hacker! Never leave a money trail) and we see Duclair dousing Aaron with accelerant while Aaron begs him to stop. LifeguardTani randomly shows up at his door (is she telepathic? Hacked into the Talking Table, too?) and goes hand to hand with Duclair who is double her size. He tells her she'll look good on fire (ew) and she calls him a psycho before he throws her around and subdues her. He's choking her when the team busts in to save her. Duclair runs into a room, while Danny tries to unsuccessfully kick in a door. (It's harder than it looks!) Duclair gets away and carjacks someone (why don't they lock their doors or keep driving when a bleeding psychopath confronts them?) Tani is chasing him along with the team and refuses to obey Steve's order to go back to the house. Danny thinks that's funny and says she's stubborn, unpredictable, and crazy like Steve. (Um, maybe they could have caught Duclair if she hadn't slowed them down? And obeying orders from the boss should be a thing for a task force, but hey, LifeguardTani is sassy! And a kickbutt female! Don't forget that.)
They track the car to the woods and Duclair runs into the trees while the team changes into tac gear (Steve puts on a t-shirt because who wants to wear a vest with a shirt collar?) They don't give Tani any gear, but do give her a gun, even though Danny and Grover seem to be balking at that. Steve asks her the first rule of carrying a firearm and she says don't shoot the good guys. That's good enough for him. They track Duclair in the woods, going by broken branches instead of the large fire he's started (does the guy carry matches on him?) They finally see the inferno, though and Tani says, "he started a fire." (Ya think? Haha. I don't know what it was, but that was so funny to me.) The fire quickly spreads and Kamekona comes to feed the firefighters. Aww.
They separate and of course McG finds Duclair first. He whacks McG with a torch and McG loses his gun so they go hand to hand. It's nearly identical to the Tani fight where McG gets thrown around a lot, lands a few punches, and ends up on the ground with Duclair choking him. The team comes in to save him and Tani shoots Duclair in the leg. She's SassyTani and tired of dealing with a weenie roast. Danny likes that and asks to keep her. Like a pet?
Fire is everywhere and Grover asks Duclair, a criminal, what they should do. He says die. (Yeah, don't ask criminals for advice.) SassyTani even punches Duclair, which Grover approves of. They find a cabin in the woods and decide to wait there. Well, Steve is going to go find help while the rest of them roast inside the cabin. It's fully furnished however, with water and sewer so at least they're comfortable. Steve goes out into the middle of the fire, but can't seem to flag down a helo. Cut to people being evacuated from their homes since the fire looks like it's on their front lawns and Kame is there helping with food, literally handing it out with the fire just feet away. Now that's dedication!
Back to the cabin where Tani douses herself in water and Danny apologizes for getting her into this. (Hmmm...these two seem pretty chummy, I'm just sayin') Duclair is tied to a chair and waxing philosophical about how you die from fire, that McG won't make it, fire is an elegant weapon, blah blah. Grover whacks him with a bowl and says no one likes a chatty kathy.
Duclair gets free of his bonds and even with a bullet wound to the leg, runs away. Oh, and he gets another bullet wound to the shoulder, but keeps going, like Terminator! How many bullets will it take to take him down? Steve, Tani, and Grover are on the floor, trying to breathe, fist bumping and saying goodbye. Then they hear the helo and go outside where Steve is up there, piloting a rescue helicopter. He drops four straps down which they brace under the cabin in a few minutes, (who knew it was so easy?!) then go back in and Steve pulls up the house from the fire and they fly away in it. A fully furnished cabin. Like in the Wizard of Oz only with a helicopter and not a tornado! I wonder if he dropped it on anyone. (Why not just pull the three of them up into the helo? Or was that too easy?) Duclair apparently dies in the forest fire and Danny goes to talk to Tani. He says she has a nice place and that he's working on being more positive. (I hope that's true!) Tani is all smiley. Steve called her and she's thinking about joining the task force. Danny tries to tip the scales and says that Five-O is never boring and Steve is awesome to have watching your back. Tani is an Army brat and knows how hard it is to find someone to count on, a good friend, and Danny assures her that Steve will be there for her no matter what. And guess what? Tani reminds him of Kono! She's gone working with a task force to shut down sex traffickers so Tani is the next best thing. And things are changing so they want her to be a part of that. She nods happily.
Then the oddest scene of the whole episode was Grover bringing his traumatized daughter to the Blue Room of Doom to see Aaron bound and gagged inside. She gets a glimpse then Grover tells her to wait outside. He says he wanted her to see there's real live monsters in the world and it's his job as her father to protect her. What? That's why he brought her down there? Isn't that why she's having nightmares? Because she knows that already? I don't get it. There's a father daughter hug at the end, though.
Steve calls Danny down to the Restaurant of Dreams and he's bought a commercial lease so they can be partners on it. Danny wore him down. (Why? Stay strong Steve! This will not end well or be pretty.) Oh and Tani is coming to work tomorrow. But the restaurant will be fun. Right? Fun. I guess we'll see.
Did you watch? What did you think?
