We're Sprinting!!

I'm here, I'm here!  Is anyone else?

You know the drill, check back here every fifteen minutes.

Ready, set GO!!

Word Count Wednesday

Okay I am jumping up and down with excitement this week.  But first . . . remember when I had the first page of All Fall Down critiqued on First Page Friday?  Angela Eschler, one of our amazing editors for First Page Friday, has a new feature on her blog where she has the original submission, her critique, then the changes that were made. I also offered my thoughts on how the critiqued helped me.  You can see it all here  Great stuff, my friends.

I also got another review of Ashes Ashes today.  The reviewer from Books are Sanity said she was on the edge of her proverbial chair throughout the book.  You can read the whole thing here

But today, I am happy to share that I got almost 8000 words on my manuscript this week.  I know, right?! Something for me to cheer for sure. I am getting so close to being done with this draft and that excites me. I've also been editing the first half of my book that's coming out on October 1st, and that half will be going to my critique group tomorrow.  *bites nails*  I'm excited/terrified for them to read it.

How did you do this week?  And will you be joining us at the sprint tonight at 8 p.m. MST?  (We'd love to see you back here sprinting with us!  Just do it. You won't be sorry.)

Double Book Review

Today I have two books to tell you about.  The first one is a regency romance by G.G. Vandagriff called Lord Trowbridge's Angel.

In this book we meet Viscount Frank Trowbridge who agrees to escort Miss Sophie Edwards to a ball.  Sophie isn't able to dance because of a childhood injury, so when he finds out she plays the violin, he introduces her to the musical people he knows.

Pretty soon he finds himself utterly entranced with the woman at his side and how she seems to light up the room when she's speaking about music and an upcoming performance.  Unfortunately, his mistress also sees his interest in Miss Sophie, there's illness, society expectations and that isn't even all the twists and turns for our hero and heroine with many more misunderstandings and obstacles to their newfound love.

I thought the setting was well done, but there were times when the viscount seemed a little naive in his actions and what society expected.  I liked Miss Sophie and was happy to catch up with her sisters who were heroines in previous books.  Ms. Vandagriff does not disappoint her historical fiction fans and this is another gem in her series.  (Currently on Kindle for .99 cents! Click here) (And no, I don't receive any compensation for providing that link, I just want to make things easy for my blog friends.)

Here is the back copy:

When the very bored and very handsome Viscount Trowbridge agrees to escort Miss Sophie Edwards to her first ball, his life is upended. Because a childhood injury left her unable to dance, Sophie is new to the ton and not terribly interested in it. But our heroine has a secret weapon: she has mastered the violin.

The viscount, aka Gorgeous Frank, is unexpectedly and powerfully smitten the first time he hears her perform. Recognizing in Sophie a person more complex and passionate than any ton beauty, he launches a courtship calculated to win her in ways as original as she is.


Sophie is nearly bowled over, but a native disinclination to trust proves a serious challenge, as does Frank’s former mistress. At times, Frank is his own worst enemy. As he wades through a sea of misunderstandings, will his “angel” have the insight to believe that he is a changed man? Will Sophie avail herself of her sisters’ help, lower the barriers of a lifetime to trust him, and allow herself to fall in love?

The second book I want to tell you about today is Motive for Murder by Marlene Bateman.  It is an Erica Coleman mystery, the first in that series.  Erica is a quirky former police officer and a current private investigator.  When she goes to Florida to visit her needy friend Wendy, she literally stumbles over a murder scene.  Her friend is very shaken and asks Erica to stay and investigate the murder, especially since it looks like her boyfriend may be involved since he knew the victim.

Erica agrees to stay, even though she has a husband and kids at home waiting for her, and starts delving into the murder.  Erica has OCD issues and sometimes comes across stilted in her conversation, but she is good at trying to observe clues that others have missed.  It quickly becomes clear to her that almost everyone who had been at Wendy's house that night had a motive to murder the victim and I was led on a merry chase trying to follow all the clues and figure out who did it before I turned the last page.  There were some pacing and editing issues that were hard to overlook, but the desire to know who did it in the end kept me coming back.  Definitely a mystery that kept me guessing.

Here's the back copy:

Meet Erica Coleman—a gifted and quirky private investigator with an OCD-like passion for neatness and symmetry, a penchant for cooking, (ten terrific recipes are included), and a weakness for chocolate.

Erica imagined that her trip to Florida would be a slice of heaven—a chance to get away from it all and catch up with her best friend, Wendy. But one day into her vacation, all hope of fun in the sun is dashed when she stumbles, literally, over a dead man on Wendy’s driveway. With police closing in on her friend as their main suspect, Erica must find the real killer before Wendy ends up behind bars.

With Erica’s skill, solving the mystery should be a piece of cake but then a second homicide-attempt hits close to home and generates a whole new list of suspects. There’s no way to sugarcoat it, a murderer is on the prowl, and no one is above suspicion.

As the plot thickens, it appears Erica may have bitten off more than she can chew, but she forges on, sifting through mounting evidence until she hones in on the killer who has a surprising motive for murder. With a dash of romance and some surprising twists, this thrilling mystery will keep you on the edge of your seat until the very last page.

Motive for Murder is available at all LDS bookstores and is also available on CD. Here are 3 links where Motive for Murder can be purchased online:  

Seagull Book  Amazon  Deseret Book or visit Marlene's website here 

Joss Whedon's Character Writing Advice

Everyone knows Joss Whedon, right? He's a writer, producer, director, script doctor, and executive producer to name a few of the hats he wears.  He is an amazingly talented man.  Some of his writing credits include Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Toy Story, Firefly, Titan A.E., Alien Resurrection, Angel, and The Avengers.  Can you imagine the things going on in this man's head?  Does he ever sleep with that kind of imagination?  And while I know none of those things I listed are novel writing, he gave some advice that I've really been thinking about as I write my new novel.

He said:

"Everybody has a perspective. Everybody in your scene, including the thug flanking your bad guy, has a reason. They have their own voice, their own identity, their own history. If anyone speaks in such a way that they’re just setting up the next person’s lines, then you don’t get dialogue: you get soundbites. Not everybody has to be funny; not everybody has to be cute; not everybody has to be delightful, and not everybody has to speak, but if you don’t know who everybody is and why they’re there, why they’re feeling what they’re feeling and why they’re doing what they’re doing, then you’re in trouble."

I have a minor character in Pocket Full of Posies that has really been clamoring to be more of a major character and I've been fleshing him out.  This "thug flanking my bad guy" has a history and an identity and even though he started out non-speaking, he's now becoming an integral part of my book.  And as I was doing that, I read what Mr. Whedon said and it resonated with me.  I started looking at my other non-speaking people.  What's their story?  Why are they there and what's their reason?

Doing that has helped me to know my story better.  I didn't think I could know it any better than I did, but it added a whole other dimension to it.  I can tell you the reason for a lot of actions now, where previously it was just setting up the next character arc.  It's been a great exercise for me and advice I will definitely use in my future novels.

What do you think?  Is it valuable for you to know the whys and wherefores for each character both minor, major, and the ones who are firmly in the background?

First Page Friday

Can you believe it's Friday already? This week has flown by.  I'm so excited about today's First Page Friday critique because it's on memoir.  Someday I'll write my own memoirs and hopefully have this post bookmarked!

If you would like your first page critiqued by a national editor, submit your double-spaced 12 pt. font first page to juliecoulterbellon@gmail.com with First Page Friday in the subject line.  We still have two openings in August.

As always, thank you to our editor and author for their time and effort.

See you next week!

The Entry
Dreamed I Could Fly
by Lee Hinkle

In college, I was a cheap date. If a guy asked me what I’d like to do, I’d often suggest a drive out to the end of Imperial Boulevard1, which runs parallel to the south side of Los Angeles International Airport to watch airplanes take off and land. If he didn’t know me very well, the guy inevitably interpreted my response as a come-on and would happily, eagerly agree to the excursion. However, by the third date, he would likely sigh and say something like “Not again.” If our relationship made it as far as a fourth date he knew better than to ask.

Why do I feel this weird cosmic link to airplanes? I wish I knew. It has been there inside me for as long as I can remember. I’m just fascinated by those sleek, metal birds that soar high above all that is mundane and earthbound. Oddly enough, my fascination and passion for them have never translated to wanting to actually pilot one. Mostly, I just want to look at them, experience their kingly presence, delight in their amazing ability to whisk me away to anywhere else, watch and listen to their splendid roar as they climb into the sky, and breathe in the heavenly scent of jet fuel left trailing in their wake.

My love for airplanes is best illustrated by my choice of apartments when I went to work for Continental Airlines at in Los Angeles back in 1977. I rented an efficiency apartment at the end of Imperial Avenue in El Segundo, CA, which was located directly across the street from one of the runways at LAX. My new address blessed me daily with the opportunity to hear the roar of jets taking-off and landing practically in my own front yard. It was music to my ears, though visitors to my apartment often were jarred by what they described as noise.

1 Imperial Boulevard parallels the south side of Los Angeles International Airport (LAX). It ends at Pershing Drive, which runs parallel to the Pacific Ocean.

Heidi From Eschler Editing Comments

Every life is a story, and every person’s story is worth telling. The trick is in telling it properly, so that it has maximum impact.

There are as many reasons for writing a memoir as there are people. Memoirs can be fancy or fussy, complex or simple, full of whimsy or gravitas. They can be broad and expansive, covering a long life, or short and focused. They can explore one season in your life, one experience, one angle, or they may try to tie up the myriad of experiences that define you as a person into an overarching whole. A memoir is an invitation to the world to share in your life’s journey, whether it’s for the space of a year in Provence, the span of a wild childhood, the length of a war, or the sum of an entire life with the marrow fully extracted.

You can write at the start of your journey, the middle, or the end, from the perspective of childhood or the wisdom of age. Still, so much choice can leave you feeling indecisive and unsure of where to start.

What I like:

The narrative is a little quirky and off-kilter. I’m left with the impression that the person I’m accompanying on this journey has a sense of humor – always a positive thing in a traveling companion.

The first line really is great, setting up a fun and interesting premise. It would be a good hook if you are sure that’s what your story is about. Although it has potential, you want to be sure it is the right one for the story you want to tell. Below are some thoughts on creating a strong opening for your story.

Are you starting in the right place? 

Every beginning of a story has an inherent promise in it. The words, the events, you choose to talk about in the opening paragraph and first few pages are an indication to the reader that those are important and hold weight. Therefore, if you start your story with a puzzle, an enigma (why this “weird cosmic link” to planes?) you must be prepared to follow through and explain it over the course of the story, or at least by the resolution. Right off, as a reader I’m already a little doubtful that I will be satisfied, since I’ve already been informed that the storyteller doesn’t know why she feels such a magnetic pull to these magnificent carriages of the sky. That’s not necessarily the strongest starting position.

How you position the events, what weight you give them, what interpretation, what order you relate them in, will all impact the effectiveness of your tale.

Although a memoir is non-fiction, it can benefit from many of the same guidelines that inform fiction writing. So your opening, your hook, your first five pages, all these are prime real estate. Every word counts, and you want to maximize their impact. Just as you want to start with a story-worthy problem in fiction, in a memoir, a great place to start is a life-changing event.

What is your inciting incident?

The inciting incident in fiction is the event that brings the main character to a realization of the main problem that is going to propel the plot forward. In a memoir, a life-changing event can fill this role.

Take, for example, the first three paragraphs of The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. The author relates how she is in a cab on the way to a party, and looking out the window, she spots her homeless mother going through the dumpster, and the author is panicked at the thought of her mother recognizing her and greeting her, and of other people seeing them together. This would be gripping if it were fiction. Knowing that it’s real makes it even more intense.

What is your beginning doing to pull people into the story? 

People that love planes may be intrigued (or they may be confused as to why someone that is so fascinated with planes has no desire to fly one). People whose interests lie elsewhere may not be as hooked. And what is the problem or life-changing event? Of course, there’s always the possibility that your story is not really about how your fascination for planes has shaped and molded your life. But in that case, a different opening anecdote may be a stronger pick.

The other possibility is that this is an examination of your relationship experiences. That’s what your first sentence and paragraph focus on: your dating patterns and attitudes. But that theory runs into a conflict when the love of planes is brought on stage. The reader may wonder: is your love of planes interfering with your love life? If that’s your intended message, all’s well. If not, you may want to re-imagine your beginning.

What belongs on the first page?

I mentioned earlier that your first page is prime real-estate. You don’t want to waste a millimeter of space. But your first three paragraphs mention Imperial Boulevard and its location three times with slight variations. Unless this location is where a life shattering event is going to occur, once is enough (and even in that case, once is enough). There is also no need to put that information into a footnote, especially since it’s been adequately explained within the body of the text. Be sure that you don’t get side-tracked by tangents in this vital opening section.

Taking a page from someone else’s story

The Glass Castle traces Jeannette’s journey through childhood with parents that are little better than children themselves. In the face of her father’s gambling and alcoholism, and her mother’s erratic behavior, Jeannette and her siblings face poverty, danger, and instability, moving precipitously from one town to another. Eventually, the Walls children must forge their own lives. Jeannette writes honestly but without self-pity or a feeling of victimization. Surprisingly, there is love and affection and charming memories mixed into the harsh realities of her life, such as the night her father takes the children outside one at a time and lets them pick out a star for their Christmas gift. The structure that Jeannette uses for her story starts with a moment of painful clarity and then loops the readers back to the beginning of her childhood, so that they can experience it chronologically along with the author. The resolution comes as she reminisces about her life after her father’s death.

Like a snowflake, no two life experiences are the same (not even within the same family). But that doesn’t mean you can’t borrow structure from other memoirs to enhance your own story, just as multiple poets can use the same structure (say a sonnet) to achieve vastly different results.

Your to-do list:

Be sure you can answer the following questions: What message do you want to convey to your audience? What life-changing event best propels your story forward? At what point does your journey reach a resolution? (This will be the logical end point of your story.) This will not only help launch your story, it will keep your narrative focused and bring it to a satisfactory conclusion. It takes courage and passion and integrity to bare your soul and reveal a part of your innermost self to the world, but it can be a deeply rewarding and uplifting experience. Best of luck on your journey.

Getting Back Into the Swing of Things

Well, my sister is gone now, but I'm having a hard time getting back into my writing rhythm.  Which is bad news because I'm supposed to have my first ten chapters ready for my critique group in six days.  Yikes.

I did have one wonderful writing thing happen to me this week. I got a fan letter from someone who had simply loved Ashes Ashes and wrote to tell me about it.  It truly made my day.  I love fan mail and I answer all the letters I get.  It is such a bright spot for me as an author and I truly appreciate everyone who takes the time to write me.

So, maybe I will take that excitement from the fan letter and use it to get my fanny in gear and get these chapters ready.

Right after a snack and maybe a nap . . .

We're Sprinting!

I'm not as prepared as I was last week, but I'm motivated!  *cracks knuckles*  Let's get this done!

You know the drill---come back at check in at the blog at 8:15, 8:30, 8:45 and finish up at 9:00 p.m.

See you guys in fifteen minutes!!  Ready, set, GO!