tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4421706587311875668.post2233581547763737477..comments2023-10-14T06:54:41.793-06:00Comments on Julie Coulter Bellon: First Page FridayJulie Coulter Bellonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07695605817809301518noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4421706587311875668.post-13899826413457268562011-09-30T16:27:37.056-06:002011-09-30T16:27:37.056-06:00A first page of a story needs to really draw the r...A first page of a story needs to really draw the reader into it. Having the character go to bed right away is not going to accomplish that. Looking out the plane window as it takes off or, even better, as she lands in Ireland would be a much more exciting start to the story.Randyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16621043763559564251noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4421706587311875668.post-21632213536735563482011-09-30T13:47:24.315-06:002011-09-30T13:47:24.315-06:00I'm with Janice, I had a few points in mind bu...I'm with Janice, I had a few points in mind but naturally Ms Shreditor picked them up first :-)<br /><br />I'll content myself with saying thank you to the person who allowed their page to be critiqued.Sarah Tokeleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13273148070092101085noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4421706587311875668.post-41800791751196015542011-09-30T11:33:58.744-06:002011-09-30T11:33:58.744-06:00Wow Ms. Shreditor! Excellent comments, gives me a ...Wow Ms. Shreditor! Excellent comments, gives me a lot to think about...and that's not even my wip.i'm erin.https://www.blogger.com/profile/13729541389129887477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4421706587311875668.post-69487717459001292312011-09-30T11:20:33.646-06:002011-09-30T11:20:33.646-06:00Posting after Ms. Shreditor is like getting to a f...Posting after Ms. Shreditor is like getting to a feast and finding everything has already been picked over. I don't think she missed anything. <br /><br />I love Ireland. The culture, the stories, the green landscape. It's the place I dream of going to when someday rolls around. So I love your setting. <br /><br />I too was confused as to where your character is. I wondered if there was a bed on the airplane for a while. I think you were going for a flashback, but it's too soon for one of those. Is the information so important that it has to be on the front page? Does it need to be in the book at all? Work that info in later. Is the airport the right place to start? Maybe you could start with her in Ireland. <br /><br />I was thrown off by the Goodnight Moon story too. How old is this girl? Very confusing.Janice Sperryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00178805752960449557noreply@blogger.com